The NMOB Newsletter
Written by museum publicists Capy and Platy.
Hello, and welcome to the National Museum of Boring Things. Our mission is to provide you a space to bore your children, and provide boredom to the world. We keep a perfectly controlled, 69 degree environment in our galleries. We make sure that there are almost no unexpected moments, like a glass case missing, because that would ruin the atmosphere that we are trying to create in our museum. Snails and camels are strictly prohibited, as they bring chaos and pooflation wherever they go. Thank you for subscribing, and we hope that this weekly newsletter brings stability to your inbox.
New Exhibit Notification
The NMOB Community has a new exhibit to share with everyone. We have now fully developed a virtual exhibit for people who cannot come to our museum in person. Our founder had a problem. When she was working, she kept getting notifications, but got distracted by other things on the screen. "Why shouldn't NMOB be able to solve this problem in a simple, boring way?" she asked herself.
NMOB rose to the challenge. We have created a blank screen for not getting distracted by notifications. The screen has customizable background color, with black, gray, white, dark beige, and light beige options. The virtual exhibit can be found on our NMOB website, under "Virtual Exhibits". As always, the goal of NMOB is to provide stability and boringness to people of all ages, and as a reminder: NO CAMELS OR SNAILS ALLOWED.
Current Exhibitions
We are currently exhibiting staplers through time, waiting room chairs, and receipts. Staplers through time is a bland way to show how staplers have changed and improved throughout time. The waiting room chairs exhibit shows 32 chairs from offices and waiting rooms around the world (note: you can even sit in them!). The receipts exhibition shows many shopping and book receipts. Another exhibition is our famed blank wall, which is a way to reflect on what you have done in life. Many people have reported that after staring at the wall for five minutes, their mind feels clearer. Some have told us that it feels like meditation.
Permanent Galleries
Some things we keep all year round, like our famous Hall of Beige, the department of drawers, the extensive archive of instruction manuals, and the 1.2 mile long corridor of cords. The hall of beige has the world's 33rd largest collection of beige paint chips. The department of drawers is a tribute to everyday life, with a large collection of drawers and file cabinets with everyday items, like keys and stationery. The 1.2 mile long corridor of cords is a 1.2 mile long corridor of cords.
Visit times and prices
The NMOB offers a boring, normal selection of times to visit. We are open Tuesday through Sunday, from 10:00 am to 5:00 pm. We try to be boring, so we are closed on major holidays, like all other museums. We have an esteemed location at 100 Plain Avenue in Center City, accessible by bus lines 2, 14, and 22. We are proud to offer a parking garage (paid parking during open hours) painted with the beige colors shown in our hall of beige. Our museum is fully accessible.
Programs and Events
We have slow tours on Wednesday at 11:00 am, label-reading sessions on Friday at 2:00 pm, and talks about folders, bins and maintenance schedules on the first Saturday of each month at 1:00 pm. Ordinary evenings: include monthly lectures about administrative design, archive handling and documentation habits. Seating is first come, first seated. Next session date: March 20, 2026 at 6:30 pm.
Cafe and Gift Shop
Our cafe serves (like many museums) bland, boring food provided by Sysco, the nationwide purveyor of bland, boring food. We also have a gift shop with pencils, notebooks, and magnets, all with our boring logo on them! We will give you a nonpersonalized receipt if you ask, and receipts are commonly requested, as they give you proof that you went to the National Museum of Boring Things (It is so boring that people often forget that they went).
Other
We have a highly rewarding membership program that gives you unlimited admission, early registration for programs, and a weekly newsletter with measured updates that tell you exactly the same thing every week. We also encourage donations as they enable us to conserve fragile paperwork and keep a stable temperature. We also encourage giving us objects for the collections. Boring, low drama objects are more likely to get in, but all objects are analyzed by our well trained staff.
